Well, we're done with fear (not really, just the sermon series). What did you learn? I'm really excited to hear how God blessed you over these past 6 weeks? What has helped you with your fear? What promise from God or point is God using to help you trust him in the midst of fear?
Do you see that little link called "comment" at the bottom of this post? Click on it and leave me (and other FBCers) some feedback. Bless others with a testimony of God's grace. Leave your name if your comfortable, I always like knowing who's sharing.
Thanks for joining me in the journey.
Pastor Brian
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The fear of man and early childhood development
This past Sunday, we examined and discussed the fear of man. We are way too dependent on the approval of others so, consequently, we fear losing it. I believe early childhood crisis or trauma does impact our need for approval today. Allow me to explain.
Human development is kind of like building a house of cards; you can't skip steps. Our growth can easily be stunted if we fail to receive what we need when we need it. Of course, no one is perfectly nurtured in the developmental process and we all move on and function in some capacity (in many cases, function well). But this functionality often masks the the unmet need that will emerge in our lives at some time.
It's quite common for people who've experienced significant rejection or trauma as a child to crave the praise of man in exorbitant ways. Children largely receive their self-definition through identification with their parental figures (this is in contrast to adolescence where identity is largely determined in contrast to parental figures). So when there is crisis in the home (like divorce or the death of a family member) or rejection from parents, children aren't able to take these normal developmental steps in self-identification; these issues either prevent children from receiving what they need or confuse them greatly.
We really can't skip steps in our development. Therefore, people who experience such rejection or crisis often crave the acceptance and approval of others because they've "missed out" on it as a child. This can be manifested in many ways, but very typically its seen through an obsession with being "OK" or "acceptable" in the minds of others. but like all human efforts for approval, its never enough.
Now, why am I bringing this up? Because it's always important to understand the dynamics at work in our lives. Unless we are aware of the problem, we're not able to address it.
I'm not making excuses for the fear of man. The fear of man isn't "OK" just because someone had early childhood rejection or trauma. But to grow and experience the transforming power of the Gospel, we need to know where and how to apply God's grace. God's grace is enough in every circumstance.
If you think this possibility might be connected to your fear of man, what's needed is the willingness to be honest this trauma, the willingness to accept and grieve this loss and then to apply the promises and provisions of God. Oftentimes we need help getting started so don't hesitate asking for help if needed.
Pastor Brian
Human development is kind of like building a house of cards; you can't skip steps. Our growth can easily be stunted if we fail to receive what we need when we need it. Of course, no one is perfectly nurtured in the developmental process and we all move on and function in some capacity (in many cases, function well). But this functionality often masks the the unmet need that will emerge in our lives at some time.
It's quite common for people who've experienced significant rejection or trauma as a child to crave the praise of man in exorbitant ways. Children largely receive their self-definition through identification with their parental figures (this is in contrast to adolescence where identity is largely determined in contrast to parental figures). So when there is crisis in the home (like divorce or the death of a family member) or rejection from parents, children aren't able to take these normal developmental steps in self-identification; these issues either prevent children from receiving what they need or confuse them greatly.
We really can't skip steps in our development. Therefore, people who experience such rejection or crisis often crave the acceptance and approval of others because they've "missed out" on it as a child. This can be manifested in many ways, but very typically its seen through an obsession with being "OK" or "acceptable" in the minds of others. but like all human efforts for approval, its never enough.
Now, why am I bringing this up? Because it's always important to understand the dynamics at work in our lives. Unless we are aware of the problem, we're not able to address it.
I'm not making excuses for the fear of man. The fear of man isn't "OK" just because someone had early childhood rejection or trauma. But to grow and experience the transforming power of the Gospel, we need to know where and how to apply God's grace. God's grace is enough in every circumstance.
If you think this possibility might be connected to your fear of man, what's needed is the willingness to be honest this trauma, the willingness to accept and grieve this loss and then to apply the promises and provisions of God. Oftentimes we need help getting started so don't hesitate asking for help if needed.
Pastor Brian
Monday, February 2, 2009
Re: The Manna Principle - What happens when God gives me more than what I need for today?
During the most recent sermon, "The God Who Tests," we talked about the Manna Principle which states, "God will give you what you need for today & today alone; you have to trust Him for tomorrow." But what about when God gives us more than we need for today? Are we violating the Manna Principle when we have excess food in our refrigerator or when we have money in the bank or in our retirement account?
I have the benefit of getting to chat with Brian about his sermons at work, and I asked him this question, and he pointed out that there are passages of scripture that commend storing up. Proverbs tells sluggards to "Consider the ant..." (Prov. 6:6-11; see also Prov. 30:24-28). So we basically have passages of scripture that seem to contradict one another. But we know that ALL scripture is equally God-breathed. We have to be very careful to take all Scripture equally seriously as God's word. It is easy to have our favorite passages and kind of ignore the other ones that don't fit our opinions or preferences so well.
So how do we take all these Scriptures seriously without feeling crazy?! First, we need to embrace that there is tension in many areas in Scripture. Life is not simple; life is incredibly complex! Therefore, it only makes sense that there will be tension in how God describes life in the Bible and also in how He commands us to live. Tension does not mean contradiction. Tension means embracing and taking seriously the reality of the complexity of life.
Second, I think we need to realize that having more than we need for today can also be a test. Will we continue to trust God or start relying on our abundance? I think of the rich man Jesus told a parable about in Luke 12:16-21 (actually, Luke 12 is the chapter where Luke discusses much of what is in Matt. 6 (the passage we read for our first fear sermon), and the Luke 12:13-48 is all very informative about the treasuring idea.). What the rich man teaches us is that we always have to keep our eye on the ball - being rich toward God. So whether God chooses to give us an abundance or to give us just what we need for today (or we could ask the question that many other believers in other parts of the world could ask: What if God doesn't give us enough for today? What about Christians who go hungry or without shelter or adequate health care, etc.?) or not enough for today - whatever God gives us (or doesn't give us) - the question is, how can I be rich toward God in my current circumstance? And the answer is always the same - by grace through faith. We have to rely on Him and trust Him - not anything or anyone else. And as we seek Him, as we treasure Him, as we believe in Him, He will lead us. He will give us life and guide us in the living!
Were any of you thinking similar questions about the Manna Principle? What are your thoughts about what we should do when God gives us abundance rather than just what we need for today?
Luke Hatfield
I have the benefit of getting to chat with Brian about his sermons at work, and I asked him this question, and he pointed out that there are passages of scripture that commend storing up. Proverbs tells sluggards to "Consider the ant..." (Prov. 6:6-11; see also Prov. 30:24-28). So we basically have passages of scripture that seem to contradict one another. But we know that ALL scripture is equally God-breathed. We have to be very careful to take all Scripture equally seriously as God's word. It is easy to have our favorite passages and kind of ignore the other ones that don't fit our opinions or preferences so well.
So how do we take all these Scriptures seriously without feeling crazy?! First, we need to embrace that there is tension in many areas in Scripture. Life is not simple; life is incredibly complex! Therefore, it only makes sense that there will be tension in how God describes life in the Bible and also in how He commands us to live. Tension does not mean contradiction. Tension means embracing and taking seriously the reality of the complexity of life.
Second, I think we need to realize that having more than we need for today can also be a test. Will we continue to trust God or start relying on our abundance? I think of the rich man Jesus told a parable about in Luke 12:16-21 (actually, Luke 12 is the chapter where Luke discusses much of what is in Matt. 6 (the passage we read for our first fear sermon), and the Luke 12:13-48 is all very informative about the treasuring idea.). What the rich man teaches us is that we always have to keep our eye on the ball - being rich toward God. So whether God chooses to give us an abundance or to give us just what we need for today (or we could ask the question that many other believers in other parts of the world could ask: What if God doesn't give us enough for today? What about Christians who go hungry or without shelter or adequate health care, etc.?) or not enough for today - whatever God gives us (or doesn't give us) - the question is, how can I be rich toward God in my current circumstance? And the answer is always the same - by grace through faith. We have to rely on Him and trust Him - not anything or anyone else. And as we seek Him, as we treasure Him, as we believe in Him, He will lead us. He will give us life and guide us in the living!
Were any of you thinking similar questions about the Manna Principle? What are your thoughts about what we should do when God gives us abundance rather than just what we need for today?
Luke Hatfield
Sunday, February 1, 2009
How can God be good and still test us?
This past Sunday (2-1-09), we talked about how God tests his children. Pondering such things compels us to wonder about God's goodness. We think, "ok, yes, God has good purposes in mind when he tests his children; on the other side of the testing are treasures that stretch beyond our imagination (James 1:12). But still, my trials are so painful. The hurt and pain is seems inconsistent with a loving and caring God. How are we supposed to think of such things?"
It's important to remember from the start that there's not a response that will satisfy our curiosity. But you know, that's really not what we need. We ask these questions not so much to satisfy intellectual curiosity, but really, to help us trust. We don't really need "answers," per se; we need to be helped into position to trust.
Something that helps me understand such things is remembering this world is terribly broken and hopelessly beyond fixing itself. You see, our culture commonly thinks that the world runs on autopilot always bringing out the best; that goodness and beauty just happen all by itself. So when bad things happen (some think) something must have interrupted the world's normal state of harmony, peace and life. This is a very popular notion today. When people say, "people are essentially good on the inside," they are expressing this idea. When most people say, "life is good," they mean "life is good, all by itself."
The Bible actually teaches the opposite. From the very beginning of the Bible, the world is viewed as this ominous, menacing force. It's chaotic and dangerous. Left on its own, it spits out violence, evil and harm. Throw our sinfulness into the mix and you've got a recipe for a world that is fraught with trouble and misery. The reality is our world is not some picturesque utopia, but its the broken abode where we all live.
How does this help? It helps by showing us that the troubles and hardships of our lives aren't the result of God interrupting our great life with problems. God has nothing but kindness and mercy for his children; the harm and danger already exist in this world; in fact, that's normal. The problems in life shouldn't be surprising; what's truly amazing is the goodness of God given to sinners such as us.
"But, Brian," you're thinking, "God could still do something. Ok, the world is broken, but God could stop bad things from happening to me." That may be the case, but that may not be what's best for us. For example, my sons would probably like me stopping some of their "hardships." I could spare my boys a lot of grief by being overly protective. But is that good for them? No, its not. While I'm not the one who inflicted my boys with harm (say, challenges with friends at school), I'm also not necessarily relieving them of those challenges (like, moving to a different school district). Certainly, a loving father carefully discerns when his children need help, but he doesn't simply remove them of hard situations.
Life is good, but its good because of God's grace given through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Everything good in life is a result of God's love; even when life is hard, God's looking to produce life and joy. Our calling is to trust him in it all. Thankfully, he's proven himself trustworthy.
What do you think?
It's important to remember from the start that there's not a response that will satisfy our curiosity. But you know, that's really not what we need. We ask these questions not so much to satisfy intellectual curiosity, but really, to help us trust. We don't really need "answers," per se; we need to be helped into position to trust.
Something that helps me understand such things is remembering this world is terribly broken and hopelessly beyond fixing itself. You see, our culture commonly thinks that the world runs on autopilot always bringing out the best; that goodness and beauty just happen all by itself. So when bad things happen (some think) something must have interrupted the world's normal state of harmony, peace and life. This is a very popular notion today. When people say, "people are essentially good on the inside," they are expressing this idea. When most people say, "life is good," they mean "life is good, all by itself."
The Bible actually teaches the opposite. From the very beginning of the Bible, the world is viewed as this ominous, menacing force. It's chaotic and dangerous. Left on its own, it spits out violence, evil and harm. Throw our sinfulness into the mix and you've got a recipe for a world that is fraught with trouble and misery. The reality is our world is not some picturesque utopia, but its the broken abode where we all live.
How does this help? It helps by showing us that the troubles and hardships of our lives aren't the result of God interrupting our great life with problems. God has nothing but kindness and mercy for his children; the harm and danger already exist in this world; in fact, that's normal. The problems in life shouldn't be surprising; what's truly amazing is the goodness of God given to sinners such as us.
"But, Brian," you're thinking, "God could still do something. Ok, the world is broken, but God could stop bad things from happening to me." That may be the case, but that may not be what's best for us. For example, my sons would probably like me stopping some of their "hardships." I could spare my boys a lot of grief by being overly protective. But is that good for them? No, its not. While I'm not the one who inflicted my boys with harm (say, challenges with friends at school), I'm also not necessarily relieving them of those challenges (like, moving to a different school district). Certainly, a loving father carefully discerns when his children need help, but he doesn't simply remove them of hard situations.
Life is good, but its good because of God's grace given through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Everything good in life is a result of God's love; even when life is hard, God's looking to produce life and joy. Our calling is to trust him in it all. Thankfully, he's proven himself trustworthy.
What do you think?
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